Monday, July 13, 2015

Second Layer.

Snakeskin Print Top,Necklace, Loafers: Thrifted.
Skirt: Aeropostale.
Lipstick in MAC's 'Craving.'

Hello there!

How have you all been? I hope well! Today was a good day despite being at work for nearly all of it. I went on some runs to pick up samples at H&M and a PR company and that's something I haven't done in awhile. It was wonderful to be out in the beautiful sunshine and bustling city. There's always just so much to see.

I went and relaxed at Central Park after I got off to take some time to center myself. I do find that a lot of my time outside the office is either spent at Central or some other park in the city. I just find comfort in nature I guess. With so much always whirling around me in the city, it's important to find the peace within myself that I'm familiar with surrounded by grass, trees, and animals. I laid in the grass and just got a chance to write in my new free writing journal I bought while here in NYC. I've found myself writing more than ever and struggling to document fast enough all of my changing feelings and emotions. I don't want them to slip away undocumented and unremembered.

This past weekend I went to Rockaway Beach for the second time this summer and it was BEYOND lovely. Being from Ohio and beaches being fairly non-existent it's just such a treat for me...I'm hoping I can pop by again this coming weekend! This poor, pale skin of mine needs a little shimmer before the summer comes to a close. x

Things have been just well lately. I'm satisfied. Or feel satisfied in this moment relaxing here in bed at the end of a long, hot day. Maybe tomorrow might be a different feeling: but for now I'll cherish this one. 

With much love, Lauren.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Maturity.

Top: Aeropostale.
Skirt: H&M.
Heels: Payless.
Earrings: Thrifted.
Lipstick: Tarte.

Hello there

I look so much older in these photos. They are very strange for me to look at because I think they reflect the growing maturity on the inside I've felt lately. It's not that I've ever really even been that immature. But I think I've had just the immaturity that comes with, well, being young. I started this blog when I was only 16 years old and at less than a month till turning 22 I don't even feel the same person. Not even half of the same person. 

Time is a very funny thing because it can feel like it's going so slow, but then when you look back you realize it actually flew by. I don't know when these changes in me occurred: they just did. Life just matures you. This past year I think has been exactly what I needed in every way, even if it didn't feel like it at the time.

Studying abroad for four months was hard. I expected it to be easy, to be carefree. But it came with a set of burdens and struggles I was not ready for. I was thrown bricks at every angle in all the places where I didn't think I would be hit. I found things out about myself in ways I didn't want to and the girl I always was sure I was inside wasn't who I thought anymore. I saw myself in a new angle and that was a maturing point for me. 

Then I had a break up about three months ago. This one was different than my first one because instead of what I thought I would feel, I felt things totally different. In no less pain than the first time around, but in a wiser, more thoughtful way. Being cheated on broke me. I am still recovering and most days I don't know what to think. The way I view relationships and men can't be turned back, and I see things with a much clearer view. Another maturing point.

And then there's been New York City, of course. I can't quite wrap my mind around it because when I was interviewing for the position at Cosmopolitan I remember (if I'm being honest) hoping in my heart a bit that I wouldn't get it. I was terrified of NYC. It was never something I wanted for myself and it was never even a thought or in my grand scheme of where I would end up in life. I was closed minded to thinking that because I didn't like big cities, I wouldn't like it here. I cried to my mom and was so sick over the fact that once I had accepted the internship, I thought I had made a mistake because I didn't belong in a place like New York City. But my world has been transformed here and I feel new again. A beautiful rebirth. Like studying abroad and being cheated on, I've reacted and survived to these situations in ways uncharacteristic to my usual nature. The old, timid Lauren fading away and a confident, independent, strong one taking her place. 

I feel a mess on the inside but yet there is a peace to this mess because I know little by little, I am figuring things out on my own through my 20's. No one has it together, and for some reason for years I thought I had to. Even before I came to NYC I thought I had to have it together. The truth is that I don't though, and I don't think I'll ever. The important thing to me though versus having it all together is this learning, growing, and maturing that I have achieved.  I think that is the greatest success I've had in the last year of all. 
Maturity. 

With much love, Lauren.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

NYC Cool.


Hello there!

Just dropping in to say that I guest posted over on the lovely Rachel of Rachel Lately's Blog today! Head on over and tell her hello (she's the sweetest lady!) and to see more of this outfit. x

With much love, Lauren.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Monthly Jewelry Subscription: Sparkle Box!

 
So I love subscription boxes. I've been a member of a few beauty ones (Ipsy and Birchbox) and have looked into countless others for everything from clothes to monthly coffee. I'd never heard of a jewelry subscription box though and was very intrigued to find one! To be honest, I'm really picky about the jewelry I wear... You all see me wear probably the same pearl earrings, necklace, and simple chain necklaces all the time (good luck to my future husband on finding me jewelry). So, I kind of never thought a jewelery subscription box would work for someone like me. 

This subscription box though called Sparkle Box is JUST what I've been looking for. It's like the ladies behind it read my mind and knew exactly what I wanted! Every month Sparkle Box delivers you a box of 2-3 pieces based on your jewelery style. Like I said, I'm really picky with my jewelery choices, so I was thrilled to see they had a 'subtle style' category featuring delicate and elegant pieces. 

They have the perfect category for everyone's style: Boho Beauty, On Trend, Handmade/Quirky, Surprise Me (for the experimenter!), or even a box called Sparkle Girl for younger girls. Here's what I got in my box!

 Long Pendent Crystal Necklace: This is JUST what I've been searching for. I've fallen in love with crystals worked into jewelery and found some really pretty ones at a market here in NYC last weekend. But didn't buy...and regretted it. So receiving this necklace was the perfect surprise. Very pleased it's on trend while still being understated.

Peace Sign Earrings: I wish I had my ears pierced! I've worn clips for years so it was kind of a bummer to recieve these in the box because I can't use them at all. They aren't 100% my style though anyways, but I think they'll be perfect for a friend I have in mind to gift to.

Delicate Triangle Necklace: Like the long pendent, this necklace is a definite winner for me. I've been into geometric looking jewelery so again, this hit the nail on the head. It's very delicate and adds just the right amount of 'extra something' to my outfits without overdoing it. I'm wearing it right now actually! 

Over all I am very satisfied with this subscription box and want to look into signing up in the future when I come into more money, ha. It's $19 a month which is a great deal when you think about how much pieces of jewelery cost now a days. Check out Sparkle Box's site and look around at what jewelery style you might match with (I'd love to try quirky/handmade next!). Thank you gal's at Sparkle Box for this awesome opportunity to review your lovely service. x

With much love, Lauren.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Green Thumb.

Trapeze Dress: c/o OASAP.
Tassel Loafers: c/o Pink and Pepper.
Green Hat: Thrifted.
'Kissle-toe" Necklace: Freebie Table at Cosmo.
Lipstick in MAC's 'Myth.'

Hello there!

Today was a much needed 'me' day that I spent exploring around the city. This morning I was heading to try out Think Coffee and then stumbled upon the Donut Pub on my way! And I can never say no to a chance at a donut.  It was such an adorable little diner with every freshly baked donut imaginable. I was greedy and couldn't decide on just one...so I got two! I chose a cream filled chocolate and a sugar coated jelly filled one. Both magnificent! 

After my donut detour I finally made it to Think Coffee which I've seen a few times and kept telling myself I had to visit. I went to the one down by NYU and it was bustling with patrons and I could smell the coffee even before I stepped in the door. I got an iced to stay and just chilled out awhile working on my laptop before heading back to my dorm to grab my tripod to take these photos!

A few weeks back in Central Park I stumbled upon the most adorable little toy sailboat pond and wanted to go back there to take photos today. I ended up getting super lost though in Central Park, ha. I mean, like really lost. It was so remote I felt like I was back in Ohio almost at the place where I take all my photos. It was maybe just what I needed though to be immersed in all the trees with the sound of water running to clear my mind. I'm usually in such a rush to take my outfit photos, but I got to just take my time and experiment around with different angles and shots which was peaceful. I just receive this unexplainable joy from snapping outfit photos. I always have during the last five years and I pray it never stops!

I also took some time after I got un-lost to write in my journal where I found the perfect Central Park spot. It was right by the lake where everyone rents row boats and it gives the perfect view of the city buildings behind it. It was a seriously gorgeous day and exactly what I needed. x

With much love, Lauren.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Let's Have an Adventure.

Eyelet dress: Aeropostale.
Black Brim hat: c/o OASAP.
Oxfords: Sam & Libby via Plato's Closet.
Necklace: c/o Sparkle Box.

Hello there!

I'm so happy that I have the next few days off for the fourth of July! Today was my first off for the long weekend and it was lovely. I was able to take some blog photos in Central Park which was so relaxing. It always surprises me how strange people think it is though. I mean, I understand when I was in Ohio it wasn't casual to see a girl taking photos of herself with a tripod, but I thought it would be much more accepted in NYC. People still think it's so strange though and will often blatantly stop and watch what I'm doing and even take photos of me sometimes? Ha,I don't know. Maybe it's because I've been doing this for five and a half years it's not weird to me, but I guess it would be pretty abnormal for others to see!  

Hopefully I get to check some things off my 'to see' list during this long holiday weekend. Still wanting to hit the beach again, go to Coney Island, and visit the Freedom tower. I can't believe I only have around six weeks left in NYC. That makes me so sad! I am looking forward to being with my family again though and spending the last few weeks in my hometown before going back to Kent for my senior year. It's going to be a whirlwind next few months! x

With much love, Lauren.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

My Eyes Found Yours.

Dress, Sandals: Aeropostale.
Lipstick in NYX Matte Lipcream 'Prague'

Hello everyone!

It's somewhat personal and I didn't think I wanted to talk about it, but it was just such a cool experience I want to share with you all...it might be somewhat controversial and if you don't believe the same things I do than that's perfectly acceptable. I'm not saying you should! But please respect me and my religious views and have an open mind if you do continue to read on.

So this past week I felt the holy spirit move within me for the first time. It was a very interesting and strange occurrence. In my walk with Christ and my spiritual understanding I have never quite grasped the concept of the holy spirit. I know that it is one with Christ and God the same, and that it is there to be in us for strength. It was something I could never really wrap my mind around though and to be honest, I felt the job of the holy spirit to be somewhat...pointless? (I know it's not). But I had never felt it nor really had any spiritual connection to this third part of the trinity, and so throughout my life I've just not looked into its reality.

This past week I was feeling sort of down for various reasons. I think sometimes I can get in my own head and nothing is really wrong, but through over thinking and my sensitive nature I create things. Anyways, Friday morning I woke up just feeling heavy and burdened but started to get ready for work. I decided to play some music while I was getting ready and put on Prince of Peace: a new song from Hillsong United, the church I've been going to. It's a beautiful song and one I instantly connected to when they played it for the first time a few weeks ago at service. Maybe after it had played once through for some reason my dull mood dissipated and it was replaced with this amazing elation. Almost like the best thing in the world had just happened to me. It came out of nowhere; to go from feeling so meh to feeling 110% energetic and full of abounding happiness. 

I left the apartment just buzzing. That's the word I can use to describe the inward feeling. This buzzing going throughout my whole body and this feeling I felt like I couldn't contain. I was just bursting with happiness and needed to share it with anyone, everyone, because I wanted them to feel what I felt. I smiled like a mad woman for no particular reason on the streets as I walked to the subway and just couldn't stop. I felt like a brilliant light that couldn't be put out. 

I went down to the subway and was unsure whether to take the slower train or the faster and for some reason, was pulled to take the slower. When I got in and looked as the doors closed, I saw that someone had written "Jesus is the way" on a door and I smiled knowing that God was with me that morning.

When I got off the subway the feeling didn't stop but was amplified. I have never felt such an intense, overwhelming need to help people than I did in that moment. I saw a woman walking down the street who was hunched over and wore very dirty socks with no shoes. I walked past her but I was so bothered by what I saw I stopped. I literally walked back and forth, not knowing what to do for her, but yet pulled by this invisible force to help her. I felt like I couldn't leave without talking to her. I just couldn't. So I went up to her and asked if she was hungry or needed anything and she said no. I continued walking along and it wasn't far until I came across a homeless man who was on the ground and his sign said, "homeless and hungry." I knew I had to help him.

The sad fact of NYC is that there are many homeless people. Far, far too many. I see them everywhere I go and it breaks my heart. I look at their pained eyes, dirty feet, and few belongings and ache inside for them. I see the boxes they sleep in and I think about how I take advantage of my own comfortable, warm bed I get to sleep in at night when they sleep inside a box on the cold, wet, dirty streets of NYC. Although my heart aches for them when I pass and I always say a prayer I am ashamed that I never do anything for them. I am always in too big of a rush. I have no money on me. I don't know what to do for them. All of these excuses and it makes me ashamed. 

But this man I could not let go like all of the others I had past. I knew I would be late to work but again, the spirit was just so powerful within me that I stopped to help him. He sat outside a deli and I went in and bought him a sandwich and water. It wasn't much. But it was all I could give him at the time. I gave it to him and his eyes had a little more light than before. I told him to have a good day and that I'd be praying for him...and he told me, "God bless."

I felt the spirit within me for a little while after but soon after I got to work things fizzled out. But I could not shake the feeling of this memory of what I experienced that morning. It is truly unlike anything I've ever felt and know it was the work of the spirit within me. I don't know why. I don't know how. I can't explain why it happened on that morning, why I felt that intense need to help, or why God chose that to be the time to begin to teach me about the holy spirit. But it just was and I know that there is a reason for it all.

I think why I love NYC so much is because of how much I feel Christ's presence here. It is so prevalent to me. I have never been so filled with the love of Christ or inspired to do His will and to be immersed in the life He has planned for me. Not in Ohio, not in Europe did I feel all of this. I know He placed me here for a reason. For actually, so many different reasons. I can't help but shed tears of joy sometimes at the thankfulness I have to be able to spend my summer here and grow as a daughter of Christ in Him and in myself. I do not know what the future holds for me and where He shall place me, but at least I always know that I can find Him in New York. 

With much love, Lauren